dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
