we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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