fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
