I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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