So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
