I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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