she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
