Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
