Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
