It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
