I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
