i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am naked and annoyed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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