Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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