The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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