i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
