garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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