It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
