Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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