Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
