Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
