Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
