Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
