Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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