Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
