I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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