I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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