if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
