But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You're like the curious george of whores
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
