plz talk dirty to me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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