I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
