like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
