we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
MIDGETS
????
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
