so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
