Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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