i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
