If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
