plz talk dirty to me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
