I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
