It's like God shit irony all over that family
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
