Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
