Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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