if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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