why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
