You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
