Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
