Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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