So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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