As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
