I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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