just tell him i said nine months
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So squirting runs in the family.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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