I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
